Finding Faith as Guidance
After their son’s death, Jeff and his wife turned to faith for guidance. They began attending the church where Dax’s funeral service was held. The last time either had been in a church was for their wedding 9-years earlier. Jeff believes that Dax saved the lives of both of them not once, but twice. Upon his birth, both parents were transformed into new people who had never known this type of love before. He saved them again when he died — neither would be in church otherwise.
When they moved away from Darien, they found a closer church to attend. Jeff said the pastor atBrooklife Church is inspiring and he feels a sense of renewal after each service. The couple has also connected to people through the church who have lost their children. He said that no matter how the child was lost, the daunting, paralyzing pain is the same. There is a difference though, he said. Dax died in a controversy that continues to rage today, unlike a disease or car accident.
The controversy adds a whole new dimension of pain — “It’s horrible,” Jeff said.
Fierce disagreements with people he once considered friends have caused more heartache too. Today, Jeff is still learning who his real friends are. As revealed on his Facebook timeline and through private messaging, some of his longtime friends, notably Danny White, made unforgivable statements to him in the wake of his son’s violent death. Serious offenders like Danny are forever banned from Jeff’s life. Others, who might be redeemable, are placed on his “probation list.”
What is important to Jeff now are those who support his mission: Sharing what happened to Dax to save innocent lives.
His wife Kim is the staple that holds his many pieces together, Jeff explained. Through Kim and his new church, Jeff believes his faith in humanity and life might one day be restored. Calmness will begin to replace the madness and a deeper level of understanding will be born. Unlike Jeff, Kim stays away from the hostile pit bull storm. Instead, she loses herself in spiritual books, like:Heaven is for Real: A Little Boy’s Astounding Story of His Trip to Heaven and Back.
The two have found at least one place where part of the pain is muted. It is being out on the water in their new boat. Here, the back and forth currents are beneath them. They float for hours on the surface without interruptions from the world — no Facebook timelines or messages and often without many words between them. They look out across the water and up into the sky, where Dax lives now. They compare notes about the many Sixth Sense experiences since his death.
For Jeff, the coincidences occur with dates and numbers. Jeff said it took them weeks to find a new place to live. They wanted a 3-bedroom, one bedroom specifically reserved for their future child. One month to the date of Dax’s death, they found the place they will use as a healing ground to start their new family. Kim sees coincidences in the sky, usually in cloud formations. She takes photographs and shows them to Jeff, pointing out the angel, a message from the Divine.
Jeff said that he notices orbs in photographs now. When he looks back on past pictures of Dax, he sometimes sees them there too, indicating that the spirit had been present the whole time. Jeff knows that you cannot change the past. Even when you try, such as the protagonist in The Time Machine did, it leads to worse results. In the film, instead of being able to save his fiancée’s life by going back in time, “the protagonist merely gets to watch her die a different way,” Jeff said.
Both Jeff and his wife are anxious to have a new child. It would be gift from God and a way to try to begin again. Kim is 38-years old now. In early July, they received negative test results. A positive test would have placed the child’s birth in the same time period as Dax’s death. This new life would always bring them joy in early March, instead of the unbearable memory of his loss. Jeff said they tried for three years to conceive Dax. One close try resulted in a miscarriage.
Jeff said he could not imagine trying for three years this time.
In Memory of Daxton Borchardt
Daxton Borchardt, his urn next to his lock of hair and Brochardt family photographs.
Dax loved Squeeze Freezer Pops. When he would finish eating one, he would start waving the wrapper all over, “acting like a crazy man,” Jeff said.
The cost of their son’s death wasn’t just emotional. Jeff said the cost of the Flight For Life alone was over $37,000 (nearly $1,000 per mile). When you start to add everything up, Jeff said, including the trauma medical procedures at Mercy and Children’s, the cost is getting into the $80,000 range. Calvary Community Church donated the funeral services for Dax, the same church that Jeff and his wife first began attending. The service was held six days after his death in Williams Bay.
The service was open to the whole community. Doctors and nurses from Mercy and Children’s attended the service. Dax’s delivery doctor did as well. The undersheriff and police officers on the scene that day also attended along with the paramedics. Throughout the service, two big screens running side-by-side displayed photos of his family. They released balloons outside with handwritten messages saying, “I love you” and “I miss you.” Dax loved helium balloons.
Jeff said that balloons made Dax want to walk more. When the helium began seeping out, he would beat it up, saying, “Yah, yah, yah!” A visit to Walmart’s balloon section was a must when in the store. Dax liked all things that hung from the ceiling, like balloons and fans. Just before his death, he learned the “eff” sound. He loved to say “fan” and “fish.” He also learned how to turn ceiling lights off and on. He was “very curious and a walker by 10-months old,” Jeff said.
One of Jeff’s friends created a tribute video of Dax after his death.
Most of all Dax loved to dance, Jeff reflected. “I would put music on and he would just dance, dance, dance,” Jeff said. Dax also liked blow-up balls and anything with wheels. He would spin the wheels of his cars and trucks and make engine-revving sounds, Jeff said. He loved to cruise through the house in his toy coupe. Jeff thought he might grow up to be a racecar driver. When his parents needed a break, Puss in Boots videos were a savior, the character mesmerized Dax.
One of Jeff’s best memories, which still causes him to breakdown when he thinks about it, is the popsicle wrappers. Dax loved Squeeze Freezer Pops. When he would finish eating one, he would start waving the wrapper all over, “acting like a crazy man,” Jeff said. Once Jeff started copying him, acting crazy and making fun of him. The look on Dax’s face was initially perplexed. Then suddenly there were two crazy people in the home waving empty wrappers up and all around.
People always asked about Dax’s hair, Jeff said. “Why does it only grow on the top?” We would always tell them, “No we did not give our 10-month old a Mohawk.” Dax turned his head back and forth a lot while he slept, Jeff explained. We think this is why he had so little hair on the sides of his head. Jeff said that they keep a locket of his hair next to his urn. He and his wife saved their son’s ashes, “So that he is always with us,” Jeff said. “We have Dax with us everywhere we go.”
Love for Dax BenefitIn May, a fundraising benefit was held to celebrate the life of Dax and to help his parents. Falling Up: A Tribute to Dax Borchardt was held at the Richfield Chalet in Hubertus. Many people attended the benefit headlined with four prominent deejays, including Mix Master Bogart, Jeff Borchardt. The Facebook event website has many photos and videos of the benefit, including laser light show images, deejays spinning and more, all components of Jeff’s everyday world.Tomorrow, on July 27th, an even larger benefit, Love for Dax, is being held at Phil & Amy’s Corners Inn in Delavan. There will be live music, food and raffles at the benefit. Jeff anticipates up to 1,000 attendees. DogsBite planned the publishing of this essay to be the day before the July benefit. Jeff has been looking forward to this date. He is tired of explaining his position to people. He would rather just write, “Here’s the full story — please read every word,” and provide this link.DogsBite.org and many of our readers will be present at the Love for Dax benefit in spirit.
Daxton Borchardt Fund
A memorial fund has been set up at Associated Bank. Donations can be made at any Associated Bank branch to the “Daxton Borchardt Fund.”
Daxton Borchardt FundA memorial fund has been set up at Associated Bank. Donations can be made at any Associated Bank branch to the “Daxton Borchardt Fund.”
Nearly all portions of this essay were gathered through direct phone calls and email communications with Jeff and Susan over a 6-week period. DogsBite.org honors both individuals for their courage and honesty and their desire to make a difference in this vital cause.
1Neither Jeff nor Kim believed the doctor then nor do they today.
2Jeff said he was right. He and his wife were completely nonfunctional for about the next seven days, even to the point of being able to stand up on their own.
3This detective might have performed web searches leading up to the meeting. Dr. Randall Lockwood, a senior vice-president of the ASPCA used the “perfect storm” comparison in a 2006 article by Malcom Gladwell to “explain away” fatal pit bull maulings that continue to plague this country. After Lockwood debuted the analogy, other science whores and humane groups began using the term as well. Lockwood is the gravest of all science whores because it was his own published research about the “unique” behaviors of fighting dogs (pit bulls)while working at the HSUS that was used to uphold the Denver pit bull ban. When he moved to the ASPCA in 2005, Lockwood’s tune on pit bulls changed. Please note that 100% of Lockwood’s presumptions in his 2006 statement are categorically false concerning the death of Daxton Borchardt.
“A fatal dog attack is not just a dog bite by a big or aggressive dog,” Lockwood went on. “It is usually a perfect storm of bad human-canine interactions—the wrong dog, the wrong background, the wrong history in the hands of the wrong person in the wrong environmental situation. I’ve been involved in many legal cases involving fatal dog attacks, and, certainly, it’s my impression that these are generally cases where everyone is to blame. You’ve got the unsupervised three-year-old child wandering in the neighborhood killed by a starved, abused dog owned by the dogfighting boyfriend of some woman who doesn’t know where her child is. It’s not old Shep sleeping by the fire who suddenly goes bonkers. Usually there are all kinds of other warning signs.” – Randall Lockwood, 2006.
4Just days before publishing this essay, more light was shed on the detective’s repeated use of “perfect storm” to describe the circumstances of Dax’s death. Bear in mind that an actual “perfect storm” occurs approximately once per century. During the 8-year period of 2005 through 2012, pit bulls killed an American on average every 19 days. During the first three months of 2013, this was reduced to every 13 days. Just days before the death of Dax, in the neighboring state of Illinois, the fatal pit bull mauling death of 7-year old Ryan Maxwell occurred.
In a July 22nd phone conversation with DogsBite.org, Susan said the detective called her about an hour before Jeff and his father arrived that day. She said he cited the explanation of a “perfect storm” about a half dozen times during the call. He also told Susan something along the lines of, “It’s not always the breed or the owner. An animal is an animal.”
After learning this information from Susan, it became clear to DogsBite.org that the detective had indeed found the term by performing web searches. A term first used by Lockwood whose presumptions in no way correspond to the facts of this case and only repeated by fellow science whores and pit bull advocates. The detective more than likely discovered DogsBite.org in his searches as well. Yet, a “perfect storm” and an “animal is an animal” were his stock answers to the 358th American viciously killed by a pit bull, Daxton Borchardt.
Not a Perfect Storm
The fatal dog mauling of Daxton Borchardt was a sudden assault by two pet pit bulls on their owner who was holding a toddler — the intended target of the dogs. This bears no relevance to a so-called “perfect storm.” Recognizing that traumatized victims like Jeff and Susan might be better off initially with a substandard stock answer to better grapple with what happened on March 6th, the detective still did a disservice to both victims. He also failed to acknowledge the proper usage of the term: “The only perfect storm in this incident is thedocumented, lethal genetic history of the pit bull breed.” – DogsBite.org, January 2010.
5George C. Armitage, “Thirty Years with Fighting Dogs,” Originally Published in 1935, Pg 20 (The Battle Between Parren’s Pat and Caire’s Rowdy)
6Danny White was one of Jeff’s friends that taunted him after his son’s death, posting pro-pit bull propaganda on his timeline. In the past several weeks, Jeff learned through a mutual friend that Danny was playing with his two pit bulls when one of them latched down on his hand and wouldn’t let go, sending him to the hospital. On July 26th, after publishing this essay, we learned that Danny’s biter is now dead. During this summer’s baking heat, Danny left that pit bull in his car with the windows rolled up. “The dog was cooked to death,” according to our source.
7No, it wasn’t a rape and bludgeoning death of a woman who lived nearby (Would this have been acceptable?). It was the obscene pit bull mauling death of an innocent child.
8Over the course of March 6th, Jeff does not have his car. Early that morning, when he went to Susan’s home and dropped off Dax, he left his car there. Steve drove both of them to the job site.
9Steve and his cousin had to finish the job. Also, there was not time to determine if these actions were a health violation not, covering over the bloody snow, versus removing it from the property.
10On July 27th, one day after the publication of this essay, Michelle Serocki of Brew City Bully Club changed her personal Facebook profile image to represent an individual other than herself. Specifically, Serocki changed her profile image to represent Alexis Gull, the Events Director of Brew City Bully Club. Just one more underhanded deceitful tactic by Serocki. We wonder if Alexis Gull knows the real underpinnings of Serocki’s action?
11Though the modern annual rate of dog bite fatalities is 31, the CDC website still lists 16, a figure derived from the 1980s and 1990s.
12Recall the AVMA’s mission statement: “to improve animal and human health and advance the veterinary medical profession.” Its stated objective: “to advance the science and art of veterinary medicine, including its relationship to public health, biological science, and agriculture.” Dog mauling injuries and fatalities, primarily inflicted by pit bulls, are a serious public health issue. Allowing the “blame the owner” myth to prevail, instead of honestly addressing the breed’s dangerous genetic traits, is an “F” failure grade in advancing human health andpublic health.
13What a remarkable role model for her young pit bull owning audience?
14This photo gallery is part of the July 22nd article, “The Softer Side of Pit Bulls,” by Paul Tullis. Time magazine did not contact DogsBite.org to be interviewed for this article.
2Jeff said he was right. He and his wife were completely nonfunctional for about the next seven days, even to the point of being able to stand up on their own.
3This detective might have performed web searches leading up to the meeting. Dr. Randall Lockwood, a senior vice-president of the ASPCA used the “perfect storm” comparison in a 2006 article by Malcom Gladwell to “explain away” fatal pit bull maulings that continue to plague this country. After Lockwood debuted the analogy, other science whores and humane groups began using the term as well. Lockwood is the gravest of all science whores because it was his own published research about the “unique” behaviors of fighting dogs (pit bulls)while working at the HSUS that was used to uphold the Denver pit bull ban. When he moved to the ASPCA in 2005, Lockwood’s tune on pit bulls changed. Please note that 100% of Lockwood’s presumptions in his 2006 statement are categorically false concerning the death of Daxton Borchardt.
“A fatal dog attack is not just a dog bite by a big or aggressive dog,” Lockwood went on. “It is usually a perfect storm of bad human-canine interactions—the wrong dog, the wrong background, the wrong history in the hands of the wrong person in the wrong environmental situation. I’ve been involved in many legal cases involving fatal dog attacks, and, certainly, it’s my impression that these are generally cases where everyone is to blame. You’ve got the unsupervised three-year-old child wandering in the neighborhood killed by a starved, abused dog owned by the dogfighting boyfriend of some woman who doesn’t know where her child is. It’s not old Shep sleeping by the fire who suddenly goes bonkers. Usually there are all kinds of other warning signs.” – Randall Lockwood, 2006.4Just days before publishing this essay, more light was shed on the detective’s repeated use of “perfect storm” to describe the circumstances of Dax’s death. Bear in mind that an actual “perfect storm” occurs approximately once per century. During the 8-year period of 2005 through 2012, pit bulls killed an American on average every 19 days. During the first three months of 2013, this was reduced to every 13 days. Just days before the death of Dax, in the neighboring state of Illinois, the fatal pit bull mauling death of 7-year old Ryan Maxwell occurred.
In a July 22nd phone conversation with DogsBite.org, Susan said the detective called her about an hour before Jeff and his father arrived that day. She said he cited the explanation of a “perfect storm” about a half dozen times during the call. He also told Susan something along the lines of, “It’s not always the breed or the owner. An animal is an animal.”After learning this information from Susan, it became clear to DogsBite.org that the detective had indeed found the term by performing web searches. A term first used by Lockwood whose presumptions in no way correspond to the facts of this case and only repeated by fellow science whores and pit bull advocates. The detective more than likely discovered DogsBite.org in his searches as well. Yet, a “perfect storm” and an “animal is an animal” were his stock answers to the 358th American viciously killed by a pit bull, Daxton Borchardt.Not a Perfect Storm
- If employees at the resort had called 911 quickly, emergency responders “might” have been able to save Dax’s life. Though he still would have been subjected to a violent mauling by two pit bulls for at least several minutes, resulting in years of reconstructive surgeries and possibly maimed and disfigured for the rest of his life.
- If it had been a summer month — no snow on the ground — Susan still would have been an unarmed female with no capability of stopping one pit bull much less two focused and engaged in a relentless attack.
- There were no dog ownership, abuse or neglect issues is this case, the chief components of Lockwood’s “perfect storm” scenario: “You’ve got the unsupervised three-year-old child wandering in the neighborhood killed by a starved, abused dog owned by the dogfighting boyfriend of some woman who doesn’t know where her child is.”
The fatal dog mauling of Daxton Borchardt was a sudden assault by two pet pit bulls on their owner who was holding a toddler — the intended target of the dogs. This bears no relevance to a so-called “perfect storm.” Recognizing that traumatized victims like Jeff and Susan might be better off initially with a substandard stock answer to better grapple with what happened on March 6th, the detective still did a disservice to both victims. He also failed to acknowledge the proper usage of the term: “The only perfect storm in this incident is thedocumented, lethal genetic history of the pit bull breed.” – DogsBite.org, January 2010.5George C. Armitage, “Thirty Years with Fighting Dogs,” Originally Published in 1935, Pg 20 (The Battle Between Parren’s Pat and Caire’s Rowdy)
6Danny White was one of Jeff’s friends that taunted him after his son’s death, posting pro-pit bull propaganda on his timeline. In the past several weeks, Jeff learned through a mutual friend that Danny was playing with his two pit bulls when one of them latched down on his hand and wouldn’t let go, sending him to the hospital. On July 26th, after publishing this essay, we learned that Danny’s biter is now dead. During this summer’s baking heat, Danny left that pit bull in his car with the windows rolled up. “The dog was cooked to death,” according to our source.
7No, it wasn’t a rape and bludgeoning death of a woman who lived nearby (Would this have been acceptable?). It was the obscene pit bull mauling death of an innocent child.
8Over the course of March 6th, Jeff does not have his car. Early that morning, when he went to Susan’s home and dropped off Dax, he left his car there. Steve drove both of them to the job site.
9Steve and his cousin had to finish the job. Also, there was not time to determine if these actions were a health violation not, covering over the bloody snow, versus removing it from the property.
10On July 27th, one day after the publication of this essay, Michelle Serocki of Brew City Bully Club changed her personal Facebook profile image to represent an individual other than herself. Specifically, Serocki changed her profile image to represent Alexis Gull, the Events Director of Brew City Bully Club. Just one more underhanded deceitful tactic by Serocki. We wonder if Alexis Gull knows the real underpinnings of Serocki’s action?
11Though the modern annual rate of dog bite fatalities is 31, the CDC website still lists 16, a figure derived from the 1980s and 1990s.
12Recall the AVMA’s mission statement: “to improve animal and human health and advance the veterinary medical profession.” Its stated objective: “to advance the science and art of veterinary medicine, including its relationship to public health, biological science, and agriculture.” Dog mauling injuries and fatalities, primarily inflicted by pit bulls, are a serious public health issue. Allowing the “blame the owner” myth to prevail, instead of honestly addressing the breed’s dangerous genetic traits, is an “F” failure grade in advancing human health andpublic health.
13What a remarkable role model for her young pit bull owning audience?
14This photo gallery is part of the July 22nd article, “The Softer Side of Pit Bulls,” by Paul Tullis. Time magazine did not contact DogsBite.org to be interviewed for this article.
Related articles:
07/26/14: News Release – Beyond the Interview: Essay of a Fatal Pit Bull Mauling
07/24/13: Beyond the Interview Photo Album: Essay of a Fatal Pit Bull Mauling
07/18/13: Video: Father of Boy Killed by Pit Bulls Warns About Dangerous Myth
04/02/13: 2013 Dog Bite Fatality: 14-Month Old Wisconsin Boy Killed by Babysitter’s Pit Bulls
07/26/14: News Release – Beyond the Interview: Essay of a Fatal Pit Bull Mauling
07/24/13: Beyond the Interview Photo Album: Essay of a Fatal Pit Bull Mauling
07/18/13: Video: Father of Boy Killed by Pit Bulls Warns About Dangerous Myth
04/02/13: 2013 Dog Bite Fatality: 14-Month Old Wisconsin Boy Killed by Babysitter’s Pit Bulls
Related terms:
Maul Talk: “So sorry for your loss … BUT”
Maul Talk: “Pit Sociopath”
Maul Talk: “I saw them and they were neglected”
Maul Talk: “I heard it on NPR”
Maul Talk: “So sorry for your loss … BUT”
Maul Talk: “Pit Sociopath”
Maul Talk: “I saw them and they were neglected”
Maul Talk: “I heard it on NPR”
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